Last updated on August 23rd, 2023 at 01:27 pm
Scattered about Britain (and, presumably, the world) are a number of sites, some open to the public, which had a role in the Cold War. The “secret nuclear bunker” at Kelvedon Hatch in Essex was built in the early 1950s as an operations centre for a huge radar and command/control project known as ROTOR. It subsequently became a designated “Regional Centre of Government” in the event of a nuclear strike on Britain, and allegedly would have housed about 600 civil servants and military personnel. Most of us, of course, would have fried.
The Cold War was a feature of the state of the human race post-Second World War (see A Bit About Britain after 1945). Briefly, it was a stand-off between the USA and her western allies in the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation on the one side, and the Warsaw Pact countries led by the former Soviet Union, plus/or communist China and her allies, on the other. Occasionally, and usually in other people’s countries, it flared into open conflict. In Britain, and in nations on all sides from the 1950s to the 1980s, people grew up under the threat of nuclear annihilation. Indeed, I remember seeing instructions in comic magazines about what to do if you happened to be caught outside when The Bomb fell. More frightening and realistic was the BBC drama-documentary, “The War Game”, depicting an attack on the UK, made in 1965 and judged so frightening that it wasn’t shown on TV until 1985 (though it could be viewed privately).
British skies were once patrolled by bombers of the RAF’s V-Force, from which a nuclear strike could be launched against (presumably) the Soviet Union, until the aerial option was phased out by submarines of the Royal Navy equipped with Polaris missiles in the late 1960s – in turn replaced by Trident in the 1990s. Officially, the Cold War ended in 1989 or 1991. Since everybody is friends now, it was promptly decided that we no longer needed all of the expensive paraphernalia associated with perceived nuclear threats, or protection from the risks of imminent destruction…
Which brings us back to this bunker; it sounds intriguing doesn’t it? And so it should be – but you may be disappointed.
Her Majesty’s Government divested itself of the place into private ownership in 1992. I visited in 2013. It was kind of amusing to follow road signs to “the secret nuclear bunker” – partly because of the obvious irony and partly because there’s an expectation of getting killed in the rush to get in. Anyway, off the by-ways of Essex, a concrete track wound across the fields until I eventually found myself in a car park, surrounded by screaming children. They were not under attack; it appears that the Nuclear Bunker Experience had been enhanced by an impressive (and scary looking) Rope Climbing and Swinging Experience – as well as a Quad Bike Experience (which helped explain the Shouting and Screaming Experience). Anyway, undeterred I set off through the trees in search of the bunker and stumbled upon a ramshackle bungalow. This was once the innocent entrance and guard room to the complex far beneath everyone’s feet. There was no one around and the place was dirty and unkempt. A notice said that it cost £7 to do a tour, with an ‘audio wand’, payable on exit. The ‘wands’ looked distinctly grubby and unhygienic. It was emphasised that a permit, available from the canteen, should be obtained before taking photographs. The canteen was located, via one of the most disgusting loos (the Disgusting Loo Experience?) in Britain, along another path, through a chain-mesh gate, at the end of a pleasant corrugated iron tunnel cut into a hillside. The place was run-down, depressing, reeked of grease and an extremely large family was enjoying the relentless demolition of unrecognisable things at a table.
The owners of this place were fond of notices. One reiterated the honesty policy regarding payment, which is fair enough, but continued in a rather aggressive vein to suggest everyone was under surveillance and there was no escape for rule-breakers. If it was intended to intimidate, it succeeded. Is the Essex mafia behind Kelvedon Nuclear Bunker, I wondered? At the counter, two pimply, deathly pale, and youthful male assistants carefully ignored me. “Excuse me?” I eventually said. “Y’awlright?” replied one of the charm champions, resplendent in anciently stained clothes. On enquiring about a photo permit, I was told the cost was £5 and a copy of something fierce and legal-looking was waved under my nose; this, apparently, was an agreement that the images were for personal use only. Featuring on a website? He’d have to ask his manager. I finally realised I was bored and offended by the whole grotty place; so I told him to forget it and left.
In fairness, Kelvedon Hatch Bunker receives mixed reviews; some people think it’s excellent. And my visit was several years ago. If anyone’s interested, here is the website – but I won’t be going back unless and until I’m convinced the owners have decided to welcome and respect their visitors, and offer value for money. You can avoid temptation by not travelling on the A128 between Brentwood and Chipping Ongar – unless you fancy the rope, quad bike and loo experiences, of course.
There are several alternative bunker attractions in Britain, including the York Cold War Bunker, Hack Green in Cheshire and Scotland’s Secret Bunker in Fife.
The castle was a lot more interesting!
We take a ‘warts an’ all approach, FG. But which castle?
Hi Mike – this has distinctly put me off! Well done!! Sounds appalling now … would it have served a purpose … I hope there’d have been some female civil servants … for our future population once we’d been fried. Thanks for alerting us to this not so pleasurable experience! Cheers Hilary
This sounds like a good place to avoid! I sem to remember seeing a TV programme about one of these bunkers a year or two back. I remember the Cold War if course, we were aware of the possibilities of course but being young and with lots of other things to occupy us I don’t recall that it impinged a great deal on our lives apart from the Cuban affair in 1962. That was definitely worrying even though I was only 16 at the time.
That’s all rather sad. I know it was a pretty disgusting period of history (not that things have change much lately) but to make it so physically unpleasant to stress the point.
Oh the other hand, my Dad worked for GCHQ at one of the satellite stations and I can remember that one night he didn’t come home on time. Mother did her best to calm us down but it was clear she was worried. It wasn’t until many years later when I saw something on TV (possibly The War Game) that I realised what might have happened that night.
Eventually he told us a few details. Apparently the Yanks detected that ‘something’ had been thrown in our direction and Dad’s lot spent most of the night persuading them that it was only a blip and they didn’t have to throw something back! They were on lock-down, of course. Thinking back it’s terrifying that we could have been in nuclear melt down because of a stupid error.
Fascinating, HA – thanks for that!
those blips happened more than once, and scarily were due to computer error a lot
Good job I got some in Scotland’s Secret Bunker then. I have heard there was some hassle at Kelvedon Hatch you just given me a good reason not to bother visiting the place
http://spuduka.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/scotlands-secret-bunker.html
I would be most interested in visiting such a place but the experience with “customer service” you describe would definitely put me off completely.
Here in my town, we have a bakery (they have 11 or 12 shops dotted across town) whose “headquarters” moved to what once used to be the building of a branch of Baden-Wuerttemberg’s Bank of State. It was built in Cold War times and the bakery owners cleverly kept the original architectural features of the 1950s and 60s – complete with gilded and marble pillars in what used to be the bank’s foyer and is now where the actual baking takes place, and a system of underground walkways and safe rooms designed to withstand even an atomic bomb. The flour store is in the former strongroom, with the huge old metal door still there – nobody knows the code anymore, so it is always kept open.
I was lucky enough to visit the place on a guided tour (with some hands-on baking, too) a year or so ago and found it a great experience. We were offered a glass of champagne each at the start, so that may be an idea for the managers of Kelvedon 🙂
I think a glass of champagne at the start of every heritage visit would be a brilliant idea! Though I’d probably prefer a pint of bitter 🙂
I’ve been there more than once, and yes, you could possibly say it is grotty, but it’s authentic and that’s what the majority of people want, I wouldn’t want to go underground into a shelter and find it all shiny and sparkly. The weird thing about the “smells” though is that they change, I’m not kidding, the smells do change.
Oh yes, the Cold War!
Interesting to get the UK history.
I hear that you will be visiting with Mr. C of Cranberry Morning. 🙂 Our family are good friends with Judy and Kevin.
Have fun!
Carla
Thanks, Carla!
At first I was disappointed that you had no photos of the interior forthcoming but then I realized I already had the creeps just reading your words about the Cold War. It brings back memories of my childhood and growing up under that threat. During the Cuban Missile Crisis my parents stocked a fallout shelter in our basement per ridiculous instructions on tv for how to survive a nuclear attack.
Interesting. Taking photographs of buildings can be a minefield. Supposedly, not really allowed to take photos inside public buildings at all without written permission?… or buildings from the outside if built after the 1970s-90s? or anyone’s private house from the outside unless you have their permission to do so, or works of art of living artists… if you intend to make money from it. Yet millions do every day… photograph things I mean and put them online. I scrapped an alternative book on Glasgow that was nearly completed as I would have needed dozens of signed permission slips to photograph anything worthwhile and concluded it wasn’t worth the bother. Also scrapped about 10 indoor posts for same reason once I inquired and still not sure of the rules and when they apply so gave up. I think if its a free post without any profit being made its OK. I stick to hills, rivers, animals and outdoor stuff now just in case.
It was the whole approach to visitors that hacked me off. Don’t get me started on photography!
Think I’ll give that place a miss.
Oh my – the secret’s out now, Mike. I’d pass this site up. Looks damp and mossy in your cottage pic.
We have one west of the city that was built to house the Cabinet in the event of a nuclear strike. It’s been a Cold War museum for years. It has a very good reputation.